by Alisha Knight
Can I give up now? Can I crawl in a hole?
These burdens are heavy. Can I have relief for my soul?
I know I can’t make it. Lord, I can’t bear another step,
You chose me for this journey, but my spirit is all out of pep.
Why did You choose me for this path? I know I can’t make it,
My heart is in pain, my mind’s going insane. No more, I’m done, I can’t take it.
How do You expect me to go on when everything in my life is shattered?
Focusing on this purpose of mine, is what truly seems to have my mind scattered.
God, I am tired, and my soul is so weak,
I’m sick of this rollercoaster ride with its lows and its peaks.
How do You expect me to go on, God? How do You expect me to finish?
This heart aches daily, the pain never seems to diminish.
I read Your scriptures for empowerment, I look at Your prophets for how to carry on,
And as I put it all together, I discover that it was Love that kept them from being withdrawn.
This world can be so harsh, so careless to the point where I too stop caring about myself,
But then He rushes to me. I am then cradled by Love Himself.
I tell Him, “I’m not strong enough to do this. I’m afraid I will end my life”,
He says to me, “No. I know your story, you are not yet due for the afterlife”.
He continues, “Love has its own pain, it’s not always rainbows and sunshine,
Pain teaches you, builds endurance, which in the end gets you to your finish line.
The pain of Love, My child, is not at all your weakness,
The pain of Love was not designed to leave you in an eternal state of bleakness.
Through this pain comes your strength, comes the endurance to make it to the end,
I am with you, My child. In My hands I do hold your beginning and your end.”
As I look ahead, I know this journey has more pain, more hurt, more sorrow,
But I choose to stay His course. Allowing Love to guide me to tomorrow.