When I gave God my life, it was no longer mine. My life is His, so therefore, it is ours. I am 'one' with Christ (1 Corinthians 6:17).
Growing up in a church-going family, the church was basically my life. My father and mother, more so my father, were heavily involved in the church. They still are to this day. I went to church with my parents and my two older sisters. I grew up in an “old-fashioned” traditional Pentecostal church under the Church of God in Christ denomination, or as some refer to it C.O.G.I.C. During many times in my childhood, I always felt different. While most of the other children would play and talk during the time of preaching. I would sit attentively and listen to the message that God gave His servant. This time of preaching was literally like story time for me. I enjoyed hearing the stories of those God chose to use mightily. These individuals of the Bible were like superheroes to me in a Marvel or DC movie. In elementary school when certain assignments asked, ‘who is your hero?’, I always put God. I wasn’t saved at the time, but I have always loved God. And even though I loved Superman and Spider-man, and other superheroes like them, I always knew God was the greatest hero of all time. Even the men and women that He chose to use in the Bible days, I could have chosen one of them as my hero. But I knew all those individuals had one thing in common, they all loved God and claimed Him as their source of power. So, even if I did choose Abraham or Moses as my hero, I would ultimately be saying that God is my hero.
All my life, I’ve felt like God has been with me, watching and guiding me. Even in my seasons of doubt and anger. He was always right there. Without me even realizing it, He was cultivating our relationship, even before I verbally gave my life to Him. I always wanted God to use me in a big and special way like He did with those of the Bible. I wanted God to use my life to bring change and more of Him in the world. I wanted to be a hero like those in the Bible, like David or Mary the mother of Jesus. I wanted to help this world, help the hurting, the neglected, the abused. I wanted to love the unloved. I wanted to show His Love to those whom have never received real love. I always have and forever will be a firm believer that Love heals everything.
Now that I am walking in my purpose, I see He is preparing me for what I asked for. Sometimes I get scared, somedays I even doubt if He still uses individuals like He did back then, or rather if He could use me. But He keeps on showing me everyday that His hands are at work in the hearts of His people. His hands are at work in me. His angels are winning against the principalities and darkness of this world. God is making the captive mind free. Removing the fear and hurt and illuminating the heart and healing it with Love and trust.
My purpose may not look like I had originally planned for it to look when God told me what He would use me for. But that’s just it. That confirms that I am still with God. It’s not my purpose, my plan, with my life. But it’s His purpose, His plan, with our life. For I am nothing, I am dead without my Savior. I will always choose to be His chosen vessel!