Free, Healed, Loved

Dear Future Me,

These past couple of seasons in your life were tough, I know. The pain, the struggles, the confusion, the heartache. You’ve tried so hard to ignore them and suppress them. You put them in a locked box, threw it into the heavens to be sucked up by a black hole. You thought you would never see it again. But there it was, sitting perfectly at the center of your bed unlocked, and opened.

Though those seasons were difficult and uncomfortable, you must remember—for it was in those seasons that God was shaping you and molding you, preparing you for His use. Alisha, you must remember, and in your remembrance feel His freedom, healing, and eternal love! Yes, you endured hatred, mistreatment, ostracism, and the pain of never being understood. Yes, Alisha, you had to deal with people in a way that you thought you never would’ve had to before. Yes, you had to be present in a place where your presence was unwanted and ignored. And yes—Alisha, you had to love someone—who did not love you back. Those, indeed, were the most painful years of your life, yet.

You wish to forget the pain because it hurts. But Alisha, that pain you endured helped to make the masterpiece that He has designed. Take a moment, go back, and relive in the moments that shattered your soul and crushed your heart. Relive it and see the hand of God doing its handiwork. He had to break you in the places where the world constructed you, so that He could remake you.

In those seasons, you got closer and closer to God! You were learning His heart and how it beats for you and His people! You discovered, and you marveled. You discovered, and you basked. You discovered, and you played! The cycle continued and continued. You became more one with your Master than you ever knew was possible.

God showed you more of Himself—He took you deeper into Him. He shared with you wisdom and understanding, to understand what the world has no true understanding on. He prepared you for His purpose, for His call.

Alisha, I am writing to you to remind you of who called you. To make sure you understand and recognize that the world did not call you. All the pain, tears and suffering, the world did not cause that. I am here, writing to you, to help you see how God orchestrated the seasons that sit in the open box on your bed. He designed every moment, detailed every encounter, ordered your every move, so that He might teach you. He did all that He did so that you would know and have complete assurance in knowing that He chose you. The world did not call you, therefore, the world will not choose you. God called you, and because you answered His call, He chose you.

Therefore, Alisha, don’t let those close to your ear discourage you or distract you. Don’t let them put doubt in your heart, confusion in your mind, and fear in your soul. For they are but children who are learning as well. No matter how many years they’ve spent upon this Earth, there are still many things in which they do not know. Whether it be because of their own fears and stubbornness or their unbelief, we are all still discovering who God is.

My love, God has prepared you for His use. So, please, don’t forget about His handiwork. Don’t forget about His craftsmanship because of your discomfort and aches. To make something beautiful and durable for use, it must be hammered, shaved, cut, washed, and cleaned. It must be prepared, built for the task in which it was made for.

God made you for this. God prepared you for this. And now, God is getting ready to use you for this! Never forget His work—for there is beauty from that pain.

Always yours,

Alisha Knight