Loving this body through every stage while working on my goals.
Where I am today with the love that I have for my body has not always been.
I have always been an overweight individual. As a child I was overweight, as a teenager I was overweight, and as an adult I am still overweight. But the difference between now and then is that I learned how to love my body in whatever shape it is in. I’ve learned to love the flaws that my body has. The bumps, the hair, the scars, the color, I’ve learned to love every flaw. But I question whether they are really flaws? You see, we all have a set image of what beauty looks like in our mind, whether it was put there by society or ourselves, we have our standards of what beauty is to us. Therefore, we look at what we consider as beautiful and then look at our own bodies and instead of looking in amazement at our own unique beauty we point out what is different on or about our bodies and call them flaws. Oh, God’s beautiful children, don’t we realize we are unique, one of a kind. God made no one else like YOU.
"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, and there is no blemish in you." Song of Solomon 4:7
God had to teach me, these aren’t flaws that I see on my body or about my body. These are the things that help my beauty be a one of a kind type of gorgeous. God had to show me how to fall in love with my body even while He was helping me to get in better health. I had to fall in love with my body when I was 312lbs, which was extremely difficult. I kept thinking, “when I am skinny, I will love my body”. But God was teaching me that I had to love my body right then and there just like it was. It was a struggle. I’ve never truly been in love with my body, I’ve always just tolerated it, as I convinced myself that it would never change. I convinced myself that it would never meet my standards of beautiful. But at that moment God said to me, “I love you. And I think you’re beautiful”. God loved me when I didn’t know how to love myself. That made me fall in love with Him that much more, and as I fell more in love with Him, He taught me how to love my self unconditionally. He taught me how to give myself true love, because that is God’s best for all His children. If I would have waited to love myself when I finally became the size I wanted, that would have been love with conditions. And in the moment that I would start to gain weight again, I would not love myself anymore.
Conditional love is a stressful love, we are always changing. Unconditional love is stress free, it’s prepared for whatever life brings because it has no expectations, no standards, no conditions. Unconditional love loves at all times.
I am currently 226lbs and the journey to get here, in some ways, was a breeze. No, I am not at my goal, but I love where I am, and I love where God is taking me. I have the best personal trainer I could ever ask for! I was so lost in love that I didn’t really notice the pounds dropping off until the people around me began to say something.
When you fall in love with God, He will encourage you and teach you to fall in love with yourself. We are a broken people and our heart is craving for love, not only from God but also from our self.
My body may not be shaped like yours, nor is my skin bump free, hair free, or scar free. But that’s because my body possesses a different type of beauty than yours, one that is unique and makes me different from the unique beauty that you yourself possess. The beauty of you and I was not designed to be compared and in vicious competition with each other. It was exquisitely crafted to show how we all are one of a kind, unique in our own glory. It was made to show God’s mastery, as He forever reigns as the ultimate Creator.