I can feel my spirit entering a new season. For a while now things have been shifting and changing. I’ve had to deal with some personal internal battles, but I thank God He has been right there with me every step of the way. God knows I couldn’t have made it without Him. If I can be honest, there were times that I just wanted to leave this world because I knew everything that I’m dealing with now would be no more. It wasn’t that death looked more appealing to me, but His wide-open arms, the comfort of His embrace is all that I want forever. There are times where I don’t want to come back to this life. To be eternally with Him forever is all my heart desires. But God has a purpose for my life, so until His purpose is fulfilled, until He has made me complete, I must actively wait. I must allow myself to be used. Through the pain, the hatred, the abandonment, the hurt of being misunderstood, I must continue on. For Him, for His people, I will walk in my calling until He calls me home or He Himself comes.
This season was an unexpected one. It was beautiful, amazing, wondrous, troubling, revealing, confusing, and grievous. Never have I had a season such as this. I’ve learned so much! Just when I was thinking to myself, “how can God amaze me now?”. God always leaves me in awe every time He teaches me. Every time He exposes more of Himself to me, He leaves me speechless in tears beholding His glorious presence. He’s so magnificent, I couldn’t ask for a better Father. He took time for me, in my stubbornness, in my selfishness, in my confined way of thinking, and He broaden my understanding of Him and myself simultaneously. He could’ve left me as I was. But from the moment I was conceived, He put a desire in my heart, He put a thirst in my mouth to want to know all that I can about my God, about my Creator, about my Heavenly Father/Mother. I gave Him my life, and He didn’t leave it like He found it. He took it and made it His own.
As His child, I am always looking to know God more. I am always looking to understand things that others have given up on or seeking Him through my own curiosity. I’ve come to learn I am a spiritual person, meaning, my mind is almost always thinking of the spiritual side of things. Some see this as a negative, but I love it! Looking at just the natural, solely, can depress a person. I’m learning how to navigate both, but most of the time I still primarily look at the spiritual.
I am thankful for all that I’ve learned in this season. I’ve had to look strange to those that know me, and I’ve had to look crazy to the new individuals God placed me around. Though it was hard to be seen as strange and crazy in the eyes of my loved ones, I would do it all again if I had to. If it meant being in the knowledge and understanding that I am in about my Father, yes, certainly, I would do it all again. Every last detail, I would do again.
God has freed me from chains that I didn’t even realize were there until I turned to see them as I heard them fall to the ground. And when I seen the chain that laid broken on the ground it spelled, “Religion”. God through His Word set me free from religion and filled me and caused me to overflow with His never-ending Love. He taught me how His people are all different, and how that’s the beauty of His design in humanity. He taught me how religion confines us and tries to make us all the same, which leads to us judging one another for being different. It leads us to judging ourselves as we compare ourselves to our brothers and sisters in Christ. Religion causes us to live a life of deception instead of truth and authenticity. Jesus did not come here to make another religion; He came here and gave us Agape and taught us how to love unconditionally. Jesus came and removed religion and gave us Love. He came to unify and fill His people in Love. He came with all power in His hands and that power was Love.
Humanity is searching for something to fill the voids of their broken hearts and their troubled minds. But until we realize that religion will never give them the peace and wholeness they are seeking, we will stay as we are. God will never be a religion. He breaks out of every box, every religion because nothing can contain His magnitude. Look at our universe and you will begin to understand why God is everywhere and is in absolutely everything. You’ll begin to understand why just one religion can’t contain Him, for He is within all His people. God designed us all differently to help us understand the true meaning of unconditional love, that we may transform into our true identity which is Love.
I will no longer be boxed in by religion. My heart is free, my mind is free, my entire soul is free. Religion did not save me, and it cannot save me from eternal death. God saved me and only He can keep me and give me eternal life. I will no longer let the judgments of religion weigh heavy on my heart and mind. I remove those judgments and chose to allow God to fill it with His acceptance and validation. Religion is of the world, it’s what the world uses to try to satisfy the hunger of the soul. But what we don’t realize, all we need is God. He’s enough to overfill us leaving us to want for nothing. He is the one that will always fill us.
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Romans 12:2 NLV
As a new season is approaching me on my journey of Love, I take all that I’ve learned. I will continue this walk just as I began it, trusting in Love and allowing Him to guide me through this life until I reach the end of my journey.